Present

this past week i've been coping and adjusting to being single again
it's a gentle process
when i work, i keep focus
when i practice, i breathe deeper
and when i am by myself
i embrace all the emotions
there is sadness
also a sense of grounding in comfort
knowing its worth infusing hope
having made a decision
i am to face all the complimented changes

being sensuous and emotional in character, senses naturally rise
with no judgement, with open heart
not being attached to the emotions, not labeling what i feel
simply letting it come and go

having been struggling in contradiction
having taken the step, there's space to breathe

confronting fear
looking at reality
to be free from the knots
to observe openly and obectively
having deeper depth of understanding
to all that's happening
step out to feel again
to see all aspect of real as is
i find this very important
and im happy to be doing so
to soften my heart
and cultivate good energy

to be the authentic self
to not force on anything
let all flow and be, accordingly

these few days
i've imagined so many things to do
and i jot them down one by one
cheerfully arranging short term long term goals
that includes the dream to travel in india
autumn next, i'd like to pick up my bag and go

it's exciting to think about
and this coming year
is the year of preperation for my mind, body, and soul

these days
i have no inclination to talk much
other than times of work
i allow silence and quiet to filter
i am easily touched, easy to become sentimental
and at times silent tears flow
i am surprised to discover
the truth in tears
to see how i have become different
in my acceptence and good wishes
having heart to trust self

it's a big big improvement

when in twenties
i'd loose root, loose spirit
setting heart afloat
and be in complete chaos

now i take all in to feel
and i have found it, my inner stability
even alone, i can give love to self
and not be empty
i've learned to respect and cherish my own worth
not doubting it or giving it up

i thank self and him
for these years of sharing and growth

i like being the present self in truth and openness
with good qualities and not so good qualities
innocent and wise, a genuine heart
being the thirty four years old me like this
it isn't bad

living the process, good or bad
its all worth being thankful for

i do think so